There are times when single parenting is really tough. Sometimes co-parenting is really tough. Don’t get me wrong, some single parents would do anything for the other parent to be involved in their child’s upbringing, for an evening off every once in a while, to have an uninterrupted night’s sleep a couple of nights a week. This is how to cope without your child through co-parenting milestones.
No one ever said that co-parenting was going to be easy, but this morning was particularly hard. As a co-parent, it is always the first co-parenting milestones that are the most difficult. Their first birthday with the other parent, the first Christmas without them, the first time they meet your ex’s new partner. Once you’ve crossed these co-parenting milestones, it becomes a lot easier to do it again.
Cygnet left for a week’s holiday with his Dad this morning.
A week is a long time. Cygnet has only ever spent two consecutive nights with his dad. They have a four hour flight and then a ferry crossing to contend with.
But I am not worried about Cygnet. He’ll be fine. He’s not quite three years old and has no real concept of the length of time.
I am the one with the concept of time and I am the one who will miss him terribly.
After he left the flat felt so quiet and empty that I had to leave it. I have come to Costa coffee for breakfast and some blogging. My parents are coming round later and will be helping me to sort my flat ready for the builders to come round tomorrow to install central heating, a new kitchen and a bathroom. There is a lot going on and I will have a lot of distraction.
Significant co-parenting milestones are easier to deal with when you are busy. In future, I plan to have a perfectly indulgent holiday when Cygnet is with his dad.
Dealing with Christmases, birthdays and other significant milestones is easier if you don’t get hung up on the date. Who said Christmas day has to be on 25 December? I’ve had a wonderful Christmas day with Cygnet on the 27 December. Cygnet doesn’t know dates, he understands experiences.
The Queen of England has two birthdays every year, and so does Cygnet. He has one birthday celebration with his Mummy and one with his Daddy. He is thoroughly indulged, but then so are lots of children.
I am now going to stop feeling sorry for myself. I have a busy and productive week ahead of me. At the end of it, our home will feel a lot more like our home, rather than the home of the 86 year old lady who occupied the flat before us. I will work some extra hours at work. It will be a relief not to have nursery pick up times dictate my schedule.
I have a couple of evenings out with friends who I have not managed to catch up with for a while. I have a theatre trip planned, and on Saturday, just as Cygnet is in the air on his way home from his holiday, I will be having my hair done.
Cygnet won’t notice my hair do, but it’ll be nice to end this co-parenting milestone with a bit of indulgence and self-care.