The most important thing about me is that I am a single mum.  I have been a single mum for three years now.  Even if I marry or find myself in a long term relationship I will still feel like a single mum.  When you’ve had children with someone with whom you are no longer coupled your separation defines everything.  Apparently, good separations do exist.  Good separations are where everything works swimmingly, payments arrive on time, your partner sticks to arrangements,…

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I want to begin by confessing that I never really thought much about parenting before I became a parent, but I do know that parenting has changed in the last 50 years.  I wasn’t one of those women who dreamt of being a mother as soon as I hit puberty.  I wasn’t one of those women who read every single parenting book on the shelf when I was pregnant –  in fact I don’t think I read any parenting books…

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I have been thinking a lot about data and algorithms recently.  After a disastrous date a couple of weeks ago I have been thinking that I might need to change my approach to the whole dating problem.  I have been wondering: Can data find my future husband?  What kind of algorithm would I need? I turned to Google, the oracle, the harborer of all knowledge, intelligence and a whole heap of useless and distracting information and false facts and I…

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When I was a little girl, and indeed right through my University years, my mother used to buy us each a little present to help us to survive Valentine’s Day .  She would give us a heart shaped chocolate lollipop or a little trinket to show that she loved us.  When I was a teenager and still living at home, it felt like all of my friends had boyfriends and were desperately in love (with some guy they’d met at…

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Once upon a time, a woman worked really hard at work.  Her skills and achievements were recognised by her colleagues and her seniors.  She was promoted and eventually made it to the Management Board.  Her colleagues on the Management Board were men and women in equal number and of all different colours and backgrounds. Once upon a time, a woman never got married, but had many fulfilling relationships, a job that was fun and interesting and bought a flat that…

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Last Friday I went on the second worst date I have ever been on.  We both swiped right on Bumble.  He was fairly chatty.  Some of his early questions were a bit deep and direct considering that we’d never met;  he asked me why a partner might want to split up with me.  I found this a curious question, but I answered because I have an aversion to small talk and sometimes you just have to cut to the chase. …

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2018 is going to be my year of SELF.  I like a new year.   For me, a new year is about a fresh start, a clean state and an opportunity to re-set the clock and to shed the weight of last year’s problems, worries and anxieties. That’s not to say that last year’s problems magically disappear at the stroke of midnight on new year’s eve but for some reason the beginning of a new year enables me to look…

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This Christmas will be my second Christmas without my son.  Christmas without your kids can feel very wrong and it never occurred to me that I might one day experience it.  It never occurred to me that I might one day become a single mother.  It occurred to me even less that I might one day learn to appreciate the joy of being a single parent.  My first Christmas a single mum without my son was monumentally tough but I…

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They say things happen in threes don’t they? Cygnet and I were due to go to France last weekend. There is a little town in Northern France that has amazing Christmas lights and we were due to see them.  My Mum had booked a hotel room for the four of us for the night.  Cygnet and I were going to sleep on the mezzanine level of this hotel room and my parents on the floor below. We were both really…

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I have wonderful people in my life; does it matter that I haven’t found The One ? It happens all the time.  By the time we reach our thirties our group of school friends, or university mates is replaced by a husband or a wife.  We move out of the city, where our closest companions have lived in close proximity for the last five years, to the suburbs or to the country.  Our city lives are replaced by suburbia and…

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