“ Surely you want to grow old with someone ” he said. “I do” I replied, “but I have a whole lifetime ahead of me to grow old.” I had another disastrous date the other night.  Well perhaps it wasn’t disastrous and perhaps it wasn’t even a date. I met a guy for a drink.  We met at 10:30pm at Waterloo.  We walked along London’s Southbank.  We stopped at a bar.  He had a diet coke.  I had a glass…

View Post

By the time my son was a year old breastfeeding was my dirty secret. I fought incredibly hard to breastfeed my son, Cygnet.  I breastfed a bit in the hospital after birth. Or at least I thought I did.  I was never actually sure whether Cygnet got any milk or whether he was just there latched on for comfort. The midwives insisted on giving him formula in the hospital.  They were really busy. They were lovely but they didn’t have…

View Post

I heard a lot of Leonard Cohen’s music as I was growing up.  He was one of my mother’s favourites: my father always said Leonard Cohen’s music was music to slit your wrists to, but my mother listened nonetheless. Some of his music and lyrics are morose.  Some his music is hauntingly beautiful and will bring a tear to your eye.  Earlier this month I read the heartbreaking note that Leonard Cohen, who is now eighty years old, wrote to…

View Post

I think Americans have a much healthier attitude towards therapy.  A survey by the American Psychological Association suggests that nearly half of all American households have had someone seek mental health treatment this year.  This feels like a lot, but it also feels right.  Sometimes we need therapy to help us to stay sane. In the US, therapy is a way of looking after your mental health, of re-establishing your equilibrium, of voicing your troubles in order to fend of…

View Post

It was not my proudest moment, although I very much doubt it was my worst.  A couple of months ago I made the decision to stop seeing a guy I’d met on Tinder because of posts that he had made on Facebook about Brexit.  He had voted ‘Leave’ and those of you who have read my posts about Brexit (and this one) will know that I was struggling to come to terms with our Brexit decision.  My curiosity killed my…

View Post

This evening I stumbled across a piece of research conducted by Kingston University which found that happiness levels increase after divorce.  Over the course of two decades, researchers regularly questioned 10,000 U.K. citizens between the ages of 16 and 60 about their happiness levels before and after major life milestones.    The research showed that women are significantly more content, and men slightly happier, after divorce. Now, those of you who pay attention to the finer details of my blog,…

View Post

I have realised that being a single mom has made me a commitment phobe. I use various dating apps. I have profiles on tinder and bumble.  I’ve avoided happn because happn maps exactly where you and a prospective date have crossed paths and how often.  I find that a bit scary.  I think happn must be a great app for stalkers.  I am a single mom with a two year old child.  I don’t want a stalker. I have been…

View Post

Those of you who read my earlier post on Brexit will know that the UK’s vote to leave the European Union on the 23rd of June really hit me for six. Friday the 24th of June and the days that followed were deeply shocking: sterling plummeted 10%, Scotland said it wanted independence (again), families were divided, the young blamed the old, remainers blamed the ‘uneducated’, and our leaders on both sides of the campaign decided that the the task was…

View Post

There are a few things that Cygnet and I do quite often.  We go to the new Magic Garden at Hampton Court, our local ducks are very well fed, the staff at the local garden centre know us well and we can often be found at the park kicking a ball around in my efforts to exhaust Cygnet so that he sleeps through the night. We’ve just added Vauxhall City Farm to our repertoire.  Vauxhall City Farm is quite small but it…

View Post

Co-parenting with my ex was never going to be easy:  if he were willing to see other points of view; if we shared at least some of the same life values; if he were able to listen, we would probably be co-parenting as a married couple rather than co-parenting as separated parents. Life doesn’t feel fair when you are co-parenting with a narcissist. A narcissist believes that rules are for others – he doesn’t need to follow them.  My ex…

View Post