I have a confession to make –  I probably could have avoided separating from my ex.  There you go, I’ve said it.  There was more I could have done, there was more effort I could have made to keep our relationship ticking over and our marriage together.  Here are some tips to look after your husband. I don’t regret separation for a second.  My ex has a wonderful way of validating my decision to leave him every single time we meet,…

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I was a little embarrassed as I explained to the waitress that I had broken off my engagement and was now celebrating the two year anniversary of what was probably the best decision of my life.  My parents and I, just the three of us, were eating brunch and drinking prosecco. I was doubly embarrassed when she brought a small “Happy Anniversary” cake to the table.  For me it is a happy anniversary but I feel guilty about celebrating my…

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If your relationship has drifted apart, or if you want to know how to fall back in love with your partner, then you might want to try asking the 36 questions in love. Everywhere I went on Valentine’s Day I was surrounded by public kisses, bunches of flowers, couples holding hands, heart shaped balloons and teddy bears.  I bought a heart shaped helium balloon for my two year old son, because I love him, and I bought some chocolates for…

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My friends are starting to get divorced.  This week, one of my university friends contacted me to say that she and her husband are getting a divorce.  They have a two year old daughter. We haven’t been in contact for years and I last saw her about five years ago. She’d heard that I am now a single mum having separated from my partner, Cygnet’s father, a couple of years ago. She wondered whether I would meet her for coffee.…

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I have learned quite a lot about the relationship between a mother and her son.  I have also learned quite a lot about the impact the relationship between a mother and her son has on the son’s relationship with his partner.  It is for this reason that I think you should marry a man who loves his mother. It is often said that how a man treats his mother is an indicator of how he will treat his wife.  …

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“ Surely you want to grow old with someone ” he said. “I do” I replied, “but I have a whole lifetime ahead of me to grow old.” I had another disastrous date the other night.  Well perhaps it wasn’t disastrous and perhaps it wasn’t even a date. I met a guy for a drink.  We met at 10:30pm at Waterloo.  We walked along London’s Southbank.  We stopped at a bar.  He had a diet coke.  I had a glass…

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I heard a lot of Leonard Cohen’s music as I was growing up.  He was one of my mother’s favourites: my father always said Leonard Cohen’s music was music to slit your wrists to, but my mother listened nonetheless. Some of his music and lyrics are morose.  Some his music is hauntingly beautiful and will bring a tear to your eye.  Earlier this month I read the heartbreaking note that Leonard Cohen, who is now eighty years old, wrote to…

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This evening I stumbled across a piece of research conducted by Kingston University which found that happiness levels increase after divorce.  Over the course of two decades, researchers regularly questioned 10,000 U.K. citizens between the ages of 16 and 60 about their happiness levels before and after major life milestones.    The research showed that women are significantly more content, and men slightly happier, after divorce. Now, those of you who pay attention to the finer details of my blog,…

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This post has been really difficult to write.  Not just because reflecting back on my relationship stirs up a whole series of emotions: anger; bitterness; frustration; upset and now relief, but principally because it is really difficult to put that time into words.  It is difficult to articulate, in a way that doesn’t make me sound melodramatic and weak, what my relationship was like. If there are two key lessons that I have learned they are that: Toxic relationships can…

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I was drinking champagne and eating canapés on Monday night.  I wasn’t at some glamorous location, but rather I was in my flat, my own little flat with a few close family members.  I was celebrating. I was celebrating something that I feel a little awkward about publicising.  I was celebrating the first anniversary of my break-up from my ex. I was celebrating because I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself for having the balls to make…

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