Can you have too much me-time ?

Most single parents don’t get much me-time . They are on parenting duty 24/7.  There is no time to indulge in a book, or to go for a run, to have a quiet cup of tea whilst reading the paper.  Single parenting isn’t that much different to coupled parenting really.  I know many of my friends would say they don’t get any time for running, tea and reading either. 

Other single parents, like me, operate a co-parenting schedule.  Co-parenting schedules are all or nothing.  When your child is with you, parenting is full-on, there is no down-time, there is no privacy-in-the-toilet-time either.  You cannot ask your partner to watch your little bundle of joy for half an hour whilst you have a shower, or load the dishwasher, or even have a number two in peace, because the other parent isn’t there.    And then, when your child is not with you, there is just silence.  It can feel a bit empty.  I sometimes feel a bit lost when Cygnet is away with his dad.

My co-parenting arrangements mean that Cygnet spends every other weekend with his dad and I am left to my own devices.   I usually go into work on one of the days.  Recently, I’ve been saving the second day for some me-time .  A couple of weekends ago, I had a really indulgent Sunday: I had breakfast in bed; I read my book until 11am; I went for a 10k run and I binged on some podcasts. Dreamy!

Today, for some absurd reason, I decided to use my me-time to tackle my wardrobe and to arrange it using the Marie Kondo aka KonMari folding method.  Marie Kondo is a Japanese ‘organising consultant’.  She’s even written a book (which I haven’t read) entitled ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up’.  I found some of her videos on Youtube –  this is the one in which she teaches you how to fold

And then I did this:


And then I thought that I might need some help, a stiff drink, a life…! 

I won’t be buying the book.


P.S.  Not a collaborative post.

Motherhood The Real Deal


  1. April 13, 2018 / 1:03 pm

    It does feel weird when they’re not here. I often think back to About A Boy and how Hugh Grant breaks his day into units so it makes them easier to fill.

    I tend to go from no free time at all to being totally lost and literally not saying a single word the entire day whilst sitting indoors alone. I don’t even talk to Alexa. A happy medium would definitely be better!

    • thesingleswan
      April 16, 2018 / 8:27 pm

      I will have to read About A Boy again. Totally bombarded and jam packed to totally lost and not saying a single word for the entire day sums it up very well. Pen x

  2. April 16, 2018 / 7:41 pm

    #thesatsesh just cracked up at your PS. comment 🙂 I don’t think you can have enough ‘me time’ after all, perhaps that day could be used to spend time with friends or family. Perhaps sometimes you need adult time rather than child centred tantrums….the podcast day seems dreamy but sometimes if you aren’t in the mood then thats not what you need. I love the idea of you folding, I haven’t read the book either – however there is a fab book called ‘Stuffocation’ that I think you would enjoy. As always I love reading your posts.
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    • thesingleswan
      April 16, 2018 / 8:26 pm

      Thank you. I am glad I made you laugh at least. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      April 19, 2018 / 9:16 pm

      Oh Karen, this comment stopped me short. I am so sorry. Pen x

  3. April 19, 2018 / 9:28 am

    I can totally see how hard it must be going from one extreme to the other. Sometimes, when I do get a bit of time to myself I feel almost paralyzed with indecision. Like there’s so much I’d like to do but don’t know where to start! Safe to say though that Japanese clothes rolling isn’t on my list! #coolmumclub

    • thesingleswan
      April 19, 2018 / 9:16 pm

      Well done Caroline. You sound perfectly balanced. Japanese clothes rolling should NOT be on your list. Pen x

  4. April 19, 2018 / 10:29 am

    Haha this reminds me of the other day when I used my me time to clean the walls. God help me! We must need our heads checked!? 😉 Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub with this – it really made me chuckle x

    • thesingleswan
      April 19, 2018 / 9:15 pm

      Clean the walls! Wow, I hadn’t even thought of that. Pen x

  5. April 19, 2018 / 12:33 pm

    LOL about the Life Changing … I found the folding technique helpful when I tried it but I just don’t have the discipline to maintain it so after about a week it looks like an explosion in the M&S jumper department again. So I stopped. I don’t need my drawers to remind me that I’m a slob on a regular basis!

    • thesingleswan
      April 19, 2018 / 9:14 pm

      Brilliant! Just because your T-shirts are not beautifully folded doesn’t mean you’re a slob. Pen x

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