For some of us, Mothers’ Day is better for being single, while for others of us it’s worse, and for others it’s just different. I am firmly in the first category.
I am lucky, because I now get two presents on Mother’s Day, one from my son, arranged by my ex and one from my son, arranged by my mum.
My ex and I separated just before Mother’s Day a couple of years ago. He didn’t buy a present that year because he felt it was “inappropriate”. I will spare you the string of expletives describing what I felt about my ex’s actions on my first ever Mother’s Day. I am proud to say that I took the moral high ground and set a precedent of buying a Father’s Day present for Cygnet to give my ex. My ex now buys a present for Cygnet to give me each year.
As for my mother, well she must be the only mother who buys her mother and her daughter a present on Mother’s Day. That’s why mums are awesome! I buy my mum a present on Mother’s Day (obviously), and my mum (Gama) will also receive a small present from Cygnet.
If I were still with my ex, I know that Mother’s Day would have been all about his mother rather than me. I would have felt disappointed and a little bit cheated every year and I am sure I’d have done all of the cooking.
As a single mum, I know that Mother’s Day is what I make of it. Mother’s Day is about celebrating me – the mother. There is no caveat that says that Mother’s Day is only for married mothers. Whether you are a single mum, a married mum, a mum in the midst of divorce, this is your day. You are allowed to be celebrated and thanked for all of the hard work that you do for your children, even if you have to arrange the celebrations yourself.
This Mother’s Day, Cygnet and I will have breakfast in bed. We will have toast. He can have jam on his, I will have smoked salmon. He can have milk, I will have a small glass of Prosecco. I will buy myself a bunch of daffodils and put a daffodil in a glass on the tray. He can give me the present that his father has arranged. I will give him a present and tell him how lucky I am to have him. We will have kisses and cuddles.
(I will change my bedding later. I doubt my sheets will escape jam and butter if a two year old is dining in my bed).
I will have a bubble bath. I will obviously have to share my bubble bath with Cygnet and probably half a dozen cars, but it will still be a bubble bath. I’ll forgo the candles for health and safety reasons.
We will put our best clothes on.
My parents will probably come round for lunch. I will get another present from Cygnet, this time arranged by my mother. Cygnet and I will give my mum her presents. We will eat cake. We’ll probably have another glass (or two) of Prosecco. Cygnet might have apple juice (his favourite).
For me, as a single mum, Mother’s Day is what I make of it, and this year I intend to make it a day of indulgence, celebration and fun.