How to find your clitoris, your WHOLE clitoris

The word clitoris derives from the Greek word kleitoris which means “little hill”.  For two millennia, we have thought that our most sensitive organ, which has no other purpose than to make us feel good, bears resemblance to a little hill.  This, my friends, is depressing. Our clitoris is so much more than a little hill.  Let me tell you how to find your clitoris, your whole clitoris.

Cygnet is two and a half.  I don’t remember when he first found his penis, but it feels like a long time ago.  I doubt he was even a year old.  Cygnet and his willy are now very good friends.  “Mummy, my willy is standing up” Cygnet will say.  “What are you doing to your willy?” I ask.  I’m poking it” comes the response. 


Boys are lucky.  Their sexual organ is a dangly toy to be discovered and played with from a very young age.  Our girls are not so lucky.  Us women have to explore, research, read and venture. The focus of sex education at school is on how to avoid having a baby, the male orgasm is key.  It’s all about ejaculation.    

The clitoris is a mystery.  The clitoris is a new land, uncharted territory. However well acquainted you are with your clitoris, I guarantee there are facts here that you never knew. Here’s how to find your clitoris.   

The clitoris is not required for reproduction.  Yes, I know, you knew that!   In fact it’s sole purpose is to make a woman feel good. The clitoris contains approximately 8000 sensory nerve fibres –  that’s twice as many as a penis. Cool huh?  So, why is it that the penis gets all the attention?  The clitoris should be the star of the show, but instead she is hiding in the shadows. 

Textbooks, professional medical guides, the internet, magazines, sex education in schools (that’s if the clitoris is even mentioned) wrongly assert that the clitoris is the size of “a fingertip”, “a pea”.  The plethora of misinformation is mind blowing.  Science has been woefully inadequate when it comes to mapping the clitoris. 

In 1998, yes 1998!, just nineteen years ago, the urologist Dr Helen O’Connell used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to discover the clitoris.   She discovered that the majority of the clitoris is actually within the pelvis.  It is far more internal than external and consists of two shafts or legs up to ten centimetres long and two glans.  The clitoris looks more like a “wishbone” than a “pea’.  I borrowed Cygnet’s felt-tip pens and I drew you a diagram:

find your clitoris

The most brilliant thing about the clitoris is that the super-sensitive magic button on the outside triggers the entire clitoris which stretches up and inside.  The glans of the clitoris wrap around the vagina.  When aroused they swell and grip the vaginal wall.

In 2009, yes 2009!, eight years ago, the world’s first 3D sonography of a stimulated clitoris showed how the erectile tissue of the clitoris engorges the vagina.  The so called vaginal orgasm is in fact an internal clitoral orgasm.   I drew you another picture: 

find your clitoris

Now I don’t know about you, but I am disappointed that I have never heard of Dr. Helen O’Connell before.  Through Dr. O’Connell’s work, science is gaining a new perspective and a more accurate understanding of the anatomy of the clitoris, but more importantly, through Dr O’Connell’s work, us women are getting the chance to have a better sex life. 

How on earth are we supposed to gain real pleasure from something that we don’t even know that we have, or that we don’t know to her full extent?  How on earth are our sexual partners supposed to know?

Dr Helen O’Connell should be an international heroine.  Her head should be on bank notes.  Instead, she has this little visited website, which, and I don’t mean to insult her (she is after all my new-found heroine) looks somewhat amateur.  If ever there were a reminder of the phallocentric world that we live in, it is the fact that the discovery of the entire clitoris has passed unnoticed. 

Go forth ladies, go and find your clitoris, your whole clitoris.

P.S.  If you enjoyed this post, you’ll love my posts on female masturbation and what women REALLY want.  You might also want to know a bit more about the  oxytocin – the coolest hormone in town.Accidental Hipster Mum

 Brilliant blog posts on


  1. March 12, 2017 / 9:17 pm

    Brilliant post! It’s very refreshing to see women’s sexuality being discussed so openly, and knowledgeably! #RV&HT

    • thesingleswan
      March 12, 2017 / 9:34 pm

      Thanks Aleena. Pen x

  2. March 12, 2017 / 9:22 pm

    Wow okay I have to admit I started blushing when I clicked onto this post. But it is very scientific and informative and not something I or anyone should be embarrassed about! I should make my husband read this 😉 Thanks for linking to #EatSleepBlogRT. Hope you can join again next week.

    • thesingleswan
      March 12, 2017 / 9:34 pm

      Hi, thanks for your comment. I am glad you found the post useful and informative. Always a tricky topic. I feel the need to highlight that this isn’t a pornographic post and contains no explicit content. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 13, 2017 / 10:08 pm

      The benefits of blogging anonymously. Might as well make the most of it. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 13, 2017 / 10:08 pm

      I am glad you have discovered my blog too. I hope to see you back here soon. Pen x

  3. March 13, 2017 / 12:22 am

    This right here is fucking amazing! Tell it!

    • thesingleswan
      March 13, 2017 / 10:06 pm

      thanks Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 13, 2017 / 10:06 pm

      Enjoy! Pen x

  4. March 13, 2017 / 8:13 pm

    #eatsleepblogrt I love this, I’m a big fan of this article and more importantly the transparency of the information that is some how hidden from us. Plus how has it taken so long to research the best bit ever!!!! It’s like missing out chapter one of a great book.

    • thesingleswan
      March 13, 2017 / 10:06 pm

      True. This is more than just a missing chapter. The whole library is missing. Pen x

  5. March 13, 2017 / 8:18 pm

    Great. Now what I want to know is why have my orgasms changed so much since giving birth??

    • thesingleswan
      March 13, 2017 / 10:05 pm

      Oooh, mine too, good question! Leave it with me. I will do some research. Pen x

  6. March 14, 2017 / 9:19 pm

    Yep I’m with Nicole above – I wasn’t sure about how I felt about clicking on this post and then when you started off with the anecdote of your cygnet – I thought you are soooo right – men are so comfortable with this stuff, women need some of that too. Lots of interesting points. #eatsleepblogRT

    • thesingleswan
      March 14, 2017 / 10:11 pm

      Hi Hayley,

      I am glad you plucked up the courage to read this post. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 18, 2017 / 10:27 pm

      Glad to have told you something new. Pen x

  7. March 18, 2017 / 10:17 pm

    Yay a new heroine! I am off to look at her amateur website now. I hope lots of women have learnt something from your post today.


    • thesingleswan
      March 18, 2017 / 10:26 pm

      Thanks Nicola. Pen x

  8. March 18, 2017 / 10:36 pm

    Fab post!

    Another here who was nervous about reading it but then you got me chuckling! You are right, girls need to know this stuff.

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday and teach us all some new information!
    Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes recently posted…The alternative “Dear Zoo”My Profile

    • thesingleswan
      March 19, 2017 / 10:36 am

      Yes, quite a few people have commented that you were scared about clicking on the link. I will make my titles less scary next time. Pen x

  9. March 18, 2017 / 11:02 pm

    I didn’t think it would take me till nearly 50 to discover so much about a part of my body I thought I knew. Fab post, off to see the other links and what else I’m missing out on! #KCACOLS

    • thesingleswan
      March 19, 2017 / 10:33 am

      I know, it’s crazy isn’t it. I had no idea. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 19, 2017 / 10:31 am

      Thanks for reading. Pen x

  10. March 19, 2017 / 8:01 am

    I wasn’t sure what to expect when I clicked on this post!! It is very informative though and I feel like I have learnt something new. I love that you even went to the effort to draw some very detailed diagrams to support your research. My 3 year old son is obsessed with his willy, really wasn’t expecting that to start so young!xx #kcacols

    • thesingleswan
      March 19, 2017 / 10:31 am

      Hi Wendy,

      I am glad you weren’t disappointed when you did click on the post. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 19, 2017 / 10:30 am

      I know, bonkers! thank you for your comment. Pen x

  11. March 19, 2017 / 6:16 pm

    Who knew! Such a wonderful read for a quiet Sunday afternoon, thank goodness my daughter can’t read who is sat next to me 🙂 #KCACOLS

    • thesingleswan
      March 19, 2017 / 10:49 pm

      Brilliant! Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 21, 2017 / 5:20 pm

      Well done. There aren’t many people who do know the right answer. I didn’t. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 21, 2017 / 5:19 pm

      Excellent. Glad to have entertained you over morning coffee. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      March 29, 2017 / 7:15 pm

      Hi Sarah,

      Yes, I guess the concept of sex can be quite traumatic for a young child. thanks for your comment. Pen x

  12. March 29, 2017 / 1:39 pm

    Well this was informative. I thought I knew my body quite well, but apparently not lol.
    Ali Duke recently posted…A Day In My LifeMy Profile

    • thesingleswan
      March 29, 2017 / 7:12 pm

      Great. Glad you liked it. Pen x

  13. June 23, 2017 / 10:12 am

    My biology diagrams never looked like that! Thank you so much, I’ve learnt so much from this post. Off to tweet so others can learn too …
    Tubbs recently posted…When I Am A Mother I’ll Never …My Profile

    • thesingleswan
      June 23, 2017 / 7:04 pm

      Brilliant. It was a pleasure enlightening you. Thanks for your comment. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      June 23, 2017 / 7:03 pm

      Neither did I! What a discovery. Pen x

  14. June 23, 2017 / 4:28 pm

    Those are good diagrams! Better than the ones we were given in class. Brilliantly informative post #FridayFrolics

    • thesingleswan
      June 23, 2017 / 7:02 pm

      Thanks. I never knew that I was such a good biologist. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      June 24, 2017 / 8:52 pm

      Haha, brilliant. Pen x

  15. August 5, 2017 / 2:28 pm

    Fantastic post, and I have shared and shared! We gotta spread the word of our new heroine! Doc O’Connell is right up there with the brilliant #RBG! xoxo #GlobalBlogging xoxo
    Lisa Pomerantz recently posted…Sunrise, SunsetMy Profile

    • thesingleswan
      August 5, 2017 / 9:14 pm

      Thanks Lisa. Pen x

  16. August 6, 2017 / 6:43 am

    Well, isn’t this an interesting little post! I’d love to write more here but I’m just in the middle of hunting for something 😉
    Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging

    • thesingleswan
      August 6, 2017 / 9:29 pm

      hahaha, brilliant. I hope you enjoyed the search. Pen x

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