Is it wrong to celebrate divorce?

I was a little embarrassed as I explained to the waitress that I had broken off my engagement and was now celebrating the two year anniversary of what was probably the best decision of my life.  My parents and I, just the three of us, were eating brunch and drinking prosecco.

I was doubly embarrassed when she brought a small “Happy Anniversary” cake to the table.  For me it is a happy anniversary but I feel guilty about celebrating my relationship breakdown. I feels wrong to celebrate the end of a union that produced the most marvellous little boy in the world. It feels wrong to celebrate divorce.

celebrate divorce

Divorce parties are massive in the US and the trend is catching on in the UK.  You can hire a divorce party planner.  Why not get a cake? 

They regularly celebrate divorce in Japan.  Divorce ceremonies might include a buffet meal and end with the ritual of smashing the couple’s wedding rings with a gavel. 

When I first separated from my ex, my friends were trying to persuade me to hire a speed boat and have a champagne infused party down the Thames.  To be honest, now that they were no longer going to get an invite to my wedding, they wanted an excuse to party.  I think we had best save that idea for a fortieth birthday!  

To celebrate my separation anniversary last year, I invited my family, including my sister and her fiancé round to mine for some drinks and nibbles.  Again it was all very low key. 

Divorce parties do have the potential to be tacky, in bad taste and morally corrupt.  I certainly think that divorce parties send the wrong message if the divorcing couple has children.  Cygnet was with his Daddy on the day that my parents and I had brunch to celebrate my separation.  My ex doesn’t know and Cygnet never will either. 

My separation anniversary and our posh prosecco brunch was an opportunity for the three of us to chat and relax for a couple of hours.  It was their way of saying that they supported me.  It was my way of thanking them for supporting me through the ordeal of it all. 

Let us not frown upon those who celebrate divorce.  Let us remember that truly happy marriages do not end in divorce and truly happy relationships do not end in separation.  Divorce and separation can be for the best for all concerned and when that is the case we need to celebrate. 

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4 Comments

  1. March 2, 2017 / 2:02 pm

    Sounds like you did the right thing by going out with your parents for a few glasses of fizz, and I’m sure, a heavy heart, even though you know it’s the right thing. As you so rightly say, for you it felt wrong to have a big party when you have children together, but each to their own, and everyone has different ways of dealing with it. #brillblogposts

    • thesingleswan
      March 2, 2017 / 9:54 pm

      Hey Susie, yes you are right. Thank you for your comment. Pen x

  2. March 23, 2017 / 2:40 pm

    I’m certain, an overwhelming heart, despite the fact that you know it’s the best thing. As you so appropriately say, for you it felt wrong to host a major gathering when you have kids together, however each to their own, and everybody has distinctive methods for managing it.

    • thesingleswan
      March 23, 2017 / 3:26 pm

      Thanks for your comment. Pen x

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