Is it wrong to celebrate divorce?

I was a little embarrassed as I explained to the waitress that I had broken off my engagement and was now celebrating the two year anniversary of what was probably the best decision of my life.  My parents and I, just the three of us, were eating brunch and drinking prosecco.

I was doubly embarrassed when she brought a small “Happy Anniversary” cake to the table.  For me it is a happy anniversary but I feel guilty about celebrating my relationship breakdown. I feels wrong to celebrate the end of a union that produced the most marvellous little boy in the world. It feels wrong to celebrate divorce.

celebrate divorce

Divorce parties are massive in the US and the trend is catching on in the UK.  You can hire a divorce party planner.  Why not get a cake? 

They regularly celebrate divorce in Japan.  Divorce ceremonies might include a buffet meal and end with the ritual of smashing the couple’s wedding rings with a gavel. 

When I first separated from my ex, my friends were trying to persuade me to hire a speed boat and have a champagne infused party down the Thames.  To be honest, now that they were no longer going to get an invite to my wedding, they wanted an excuse to party.  I think we had best save that idea for a fortieth birthday!  

To celebrate my separation anniversary last year, I invited my family, including my sister and her fiancé round to mine for some drinks and nibbles.  Again it was all very low key. 

Divorce parties do have the potential to be tacky, in bad taste and morally corrupt.  I certainly think that divorce parties send the wrong message if the divorcing couple has children.  Cygnet was with his Daddy on the day that my parents and I had brunch to celebrate my separation.  My ex doesn’t know and Cygnet never will either. 

My separation anniversary and our posh Prosecco brunch was an opportunity for the three of us to chat and relax for a couple of hours.  It was their way of saying that they supported me.  It was my way of thanking them for supporting me through the ordeal of it all. 

Let us not frown upon those who celebrate divorce.  Let us remember that truly happy marriages do not end in divorce and truly happy relationships do not end in separation.  Divorce and separation can be for the best for all concerned and when that is the case we need to celebrate. 

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16 Comments

  1. March 2, 2017 / 2:02 pm

    Sounds like you did the right thing by going out with your parents for a few glasses of fizz, and I’m sure, a heavy heart, even though you know it’s the right thing. As you so rightly say, for you it felt wrong to have a big party when you have children together, but each to their own, and everyone has different ways of dealing with it. #brillblogposts

    • thesingleswan
      March 2, 2017 / 9:54 pm

      Hey Susie, yes you are right. Thank you for your comment. Pen x

  2. March 23, 2017 / 2:40 pm

    I’m certain, an overwhelming heart, despite the fact that you know it’s the best thing. As you so appropriately say, for you it felt wrong to host a major gathering when you have kids together, however each to their own, and everybody has distinctive methods for managing it.

    • thesingleswan
      March 23, 2017 / 3:26 pm

      Thanks for your comment. Pen x

  3. April 1, 2017 / 10:54 pm

    I do celebrating divorce in the right context is a good thing. It’s celebrating what was, (in some cases) any children the coupling created and the ability to recognise what you want and part ways. They do have the potential to be tacky, as you say, but so do a lot of things!

    #KCACOLS

    x
    Jenny (Accidental Hipster Mum) recently posted…The Feel Good Diet ClubMy Profile

    • thesingleswan
      April 2, 2017 / 9:31 pm

      thanks for your honest comment Jenny. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      April 2, 2017 / 9:30 pm

      haha, thank you. Pen x

  4. April 3, 2017 / 4:29 pm

    They can be tacky, I’m sure. But yours doesn’t sound tacky at all. I think there’s no shame in ending a relationship that isn’t working and there’s no harm in celebrating something that’s the right decision for you #KCACOLS

    • thesingleswan
      April 3, 2017 / 8:38 pm

      thank you Kelly. Pen x

  5. April 7, 2017 / 3:09 pm

    I’m not sure that a full on party is warranted, especially if there are children involved, but I don’t see anything wrong with celebrating the day that you started down a new road, a happier one. #KCACOLS
    jeremy@thirstydaddy recently posted…Adrian Peterson? F That GuyMy Profile

    • thesingleswan
      April 7, 2017 / 8:45 pm

      Thanks Jeremy. Pen x

  6. April 9, 2017 / 5:52 am

    The idea of a full blown party seems really odd to me but a more low key celebration of the start of a new chapter is completely understandable, as long as any children involved aren’t aware of it as in your case. Sounds like you handled it perfectly. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday
    Alana – Burnished Chaos recently posted…#funseekingkids Week 1 Round-UpMy Profile

    • thesingleswan
      April 9, 2017 / 8:08 pm

      thank you Alana. Pen x

  7. April 14, 2017 / 12:22 am

    Choosing a new path that feels better and healthier is worthy of celebration. Seeing the good in making the change and the bravery it took is also worthy At the end of the day, you have o do what feels right and good. Sounds like you did just so! #KCACOLS #BrillBlogPosts

    • thesingleswan
      April 14, 2017 / 10:58 pm

      Thank you Lisa. I appreciate the support. Pen x

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