Conversations in a public toilet

Cygnet:  “Mama wee wee red”

Me: no reply

Cygnet: “What’s that?”   

Me: pause

Cygnet:  “What’s that Mama?”

Me: Sigh, “It’s Mama’s”

Cygnet: “What is it? “

Me: Sigh, “It’s a tampon sweetheart, it’s Mama’s”

Cygnet: “tampon”

conversations in a public toilet

Cygnet: “Mama did a noisy bottom”

Me: “Thank you sweetheart”

Cygnet:  “Mama done a poo”

Me: “No, Mama’s not done a poo, Mama’s done a wee wee”.

Me:  “ Cygnet put the toilet brush down”   “Put the toilet brush down” “LEAVE IT” “PUT IT DOWN”

Cygnet:  “Mama’s got a dirty bottom”

Me:  “No Cygnet, it’s not dirt, it’s hair”

Cygnet:  “Mama’s got a hairy bottom”

Me:  ….thinks, I should have thought of that.



  1. November 5, 2016 / 12:37 am

    Ha! Out of the mouth of babes! #FridayFrolics

    • thesingleswan
      November 5, 2016 / 10:39 pm

      I know. Very embarrassing. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      November 10, 2016 / 11:26 pm

      Haha, yep, it was me. Pen x

  2. November 6, 2016 / 10:45 pm

    Hahaha. My friend’s little boy always says ‘mummy done a poo’ when he’s telling her he needs changing but it makes it sounds like he’s telling everyone she’s done a poo! x #KCACOLS

    • thesingleswan
      November 10, 2016 / 11:23 pm

      Ah wonderful. I am sure they work it out. Pen x

  3. November 7, 2016 / 1:12 pm

    Hahaha, this sounds like me and my son in the toilets! #KCACOLS

    • thesingleswan
      November 10, 2016 / 11:23 pm

      Glad I am not the only one. Pen x

  4. November 7, 2016 / 7:45 pm

    Ha ha ha! Too funny. I heard a little one in the changing rooms ask his mum “Why were you and daddy fighting with no clothes on last night” Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    • thesingleswan
      November 10, 2016 / 11:21 pm

      How lovely! Cringe. Pen x

  5. November 7, 2016 / 7:46 pm

    I feel like I shouldn’t laugh at this, because it’s only a matter of time before it happens to me, haha! I’ve got off quite lightly so far, apart from the occasional shout of ‘don’t open the door, don’t open the door’! x #KCACOLS
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    • thesingleswan
      November 10, 2016 / 11:21 pm

      Ha ha, a friend of mine was in the disabled toilet with her son the other day and was busy doing a wee when her son pushed the button that opened the door automatically. She was left sitting on the toilet, door wide open, as her son ran out. I guess the lesson is don’t use the disabled toilet (unless of course you are disabled). Pen x

  6. November 7, 2016 / 8:31 pm

    This should be in a ‘Things they don’t tell you about motherhood’ book! *cringe*


    • thesingleswan
      November 10, 2016 / 11:18 pm

      Yes, they definitely don’t tell you this in the motherhood book. Pen x

    • thesingleswan
      November 10, 2016 / 11:16 pm

      Great, I am glad I made you laugh out loud and that I am not the only one to have had these conversations. Pen x

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