Diane Von Furstenberg, as well as having a beautiful, but unaffordable, clothing range, has some very wise words.
“The most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”
—Diane von Furstenberg
These words really resonate with me. For a while, in fact for quite a long while, I didn’t really have a good relationship with myself. I didn’t have a bad relationship with myself either. I just didn’t really have any feelings either way. I was ambivalent.
This doesn’t sound like much of a problem. But for me, it was.
Having no feelings about myself: no real pride when I had succeeded; no real anger when I had behaved badly; no real disappointment when I had failed, didn’t really feel like living.
It took me a while to figure out why.
It was because I wasn’t living the life that I was meant to lead. I wasn’t becoming the person I am meant to be. I wasn’t living by my values, I wasn’t pursuing what I enjoy, I wasn’t connecting with myself. I just wasn’t really being myself.
This all sounds a bit wanky and abstract and for that I apologise.
I was living someone else’s image of life, someone else vision, someone else’s frustrations and someone else’s story and, as a result, it didn’t feel real for me.
I don’t for a second think that I am now who I am meant to be and that things will never change. All is not said and done. Life is not over.
Going back to Diane’s quote, I am at least having a relationship with myself now. I am no longer having a relationship with an image of myself. I am no longer having a relationship with someone else’s image of myself.
But, I also recognise that my ‘self’ has to evolve and will evolve and that evolution is the exciting part of living.
Who I am meant to be is not a destination, but rather the journey of becoming.
The quality of my relationship with myself will let me know whether I am on the right journey.