What do you do if you are a broody single mother?
I keep seeing photos of newborn babies and I feel slightly broody. I am a broody single mother. Here’s a collection for you. Do you feel it? Do you feel broody too?
Had I stayed in my relationship we would probably have been working on making our second baby now. But, I didn’t stay in a bad relationship and that is a good thing, but I can’t help myself from looking at newborn babies with a pang of longing.
I don’t know whether this longing is really something, or whether it is just me getting to terms with the fact that I will probably never have another baby. I am in my mid 30’s. I don’t go out much. There are no boyfriends (or probably more accurately no man friends) on the scene. I am just not ready for a relationship yet to be honest. It is all too soon.
I could do what some people do and have an IVF baby, or persuade a male friend to donate some sperm. There are people who do this and I admire them. But I can’t, not for a second child anyway. I am just about coping with one baby (with a considerable amount of help from my family) but I could not, and my parents could not, cope with two.
I won’t have another baby. I will never be pregnant again. I will never hold my newborn baby for the first time again. When I finally stop breastfeeding, which will probably come quite soon, I will never breastfeed again (unless I have a major career change in the next few months and become a wet nurse – highly unlikely!)
I am kind of okay with this…when I am not melting over a newborn that I have seen in a coffee shop or in Waitrose that is. I feel bad that my son is not going to have a sibling. We can’t rule anything out, but chances are that Cygnet and Pen will live together, just the two of them, for quite some time, and chances are, that although Cygnet may meet new girlfriends of Daddy’s, he may not get a brother or sister. I worry that he will miss out.
So, I will just have to stay broody for a bit longer. I will continue to gush at babies in the supermarket and I will continue to smile kindly and slightly jealously at mothers wearing or feeding newborns.
I will just have to hope that my sister and her boyfriend decide to have a baby soon. Then I can gush at my niece or nephew and that, my friends, will be totally cool!