To have social airs and graces is a great skill. The ability to waltz into a room and flirt mildly with those about you is really useful. Small talk and a sprinkling of intellectual conversation, not too much because that is boring, but enough to make others think highly of you is a great tool in Prince Charming, my ex’s toolkit. Prince Charming, my ex, had these skills in spades. He could charm the pants off anyone. Without wanting to put too fine a point on it, although he is a self proclaimed ‘serial monogamist’, he does charm the pants off many.
Back in January this year, when Prince Charming, my ex, and I were still engaged to be married, we travelled up to Liverpool to go to my Aunt’s 60th birthday. Our relationship was in dire straits; we separated less than a month later, but no-one knew how bad things were. No-one really knew how unhappy I was. No-one knew how controlling he was being, how he had threatened to break up with me if I did not agree to have our son christened a Catholic (a religion and moral framework that Prince Charming, my ex, does not live by – in fact he never even goes to church…his mum wanted our son christened a Catholic and my ex is beholden to his mother).
We went to the family do. People drank. People danced. A band was playing. It was a really nice do. Prince Charming, my ex, chatted with all of my relatives. He ceroc’d with all of my Aunt’s friends. All the middle aged women thought he was gorgeous, the best thing since sliced bread. “What a beautiful couple” they all said. “What a lucky lady to have such an intelligent, attractive partner.” I felt trapped. I felt miserable. I was the one looking sour faced and depressed. I was the one who needed to ‘relax’ a little. I was also the one who was getting up through the night to feed our son, who was trying not to drink too much because I was breastfeeding, who was holding everything together. The charm prevailed. His audience was won over.
The audience is still won over. Last weekend my Aunt was in London. We caught up. She came to my new flat, had a picnic in the park with my son, my sister and my parents. I then had to leave because I had to drop my son off at Prince Charming, my ex’s, his Dad’s, for 5. When I left my Aunt told my Mum about how sorry she felt for Prince Charming, my ex. “He was lovely” she said, “so friendly and fun-loving at my birthday, and now Pen has left him and he doesn’t get to see his son. I just know how mortified my son-in-law would be if he didn’t get to see his son.” My Mum started to explain the situation but it is a long story and a story which few who have met Prince Charming, my ex, can believe. My ex is, and always will be, Prince Charming.
So, for anyone out there who has met Prince Charming, my ex, not that any of you would even know if you have what with me blogging anonymously and all that:
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because he always had to have his own way
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because his view was always right…even when it was very very wrong
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because he didn’t support me
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because his family always came first
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because he took other people for granted. He exploited their generosity.
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because I had moral issues not just with his views but also the way he dismissed the views of others
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because he has a temper
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, because he uses his ‘emotions’ to manipulate others
- I left Prince Charming, my ex, so I can be me.
- Prince Charming, my ex DOES see our son regularly and for long periods of time (up to three overnight stays a week). In fact, I am so concerned that what Prince Charming, my ex, is demanding is not in the best interests of our son that I am taking him to mediation to discuss it. We have to discuss things at mediation because Prince Charming, my ex, has a temper when he doesn’t get his own way. I find his anger intimidating.
- Prince Charming, my ex, has paid me a small sum of maintenance for the month of July. He has paid me nothing for August despite earning a small fortune.
- Prince Charming, my ex, is refusing to even pay half of the costs for our son. Not big things, just general admin – like half the cost of redirecting our son’s post or half the cost of a new buggy.
I am writing this here on my anonymous blog because I can’t say it out loud. Even though our son is only one year old it is not in his best interests to hear this. He should be allowed to look up to and to love his Dad.
But Ladies and Gentlemen please be aware, Prince Charming, my ex, will charm you and smarm you and reel you in. Please don’t be fooled. Prince Charming is a fairytale. HE DOESN’T EXIST!