Daddy’s in want of a new wife – the ex files

My ex partner and I are still living together.  We have sold the house and have both found properties to move to.  We are waiting for the sale to go through.  In the interim, I am in the spare room, he is in what was our bedroom.  Same roof, different ceiling – a less than ideal solution!

My ex partner is keen to find a new wife as soon as possible.  I heard him talking on the phone about it the other day.  Within three years he anticipates that he will be married and may even have another child.  Maybe he has met his new wife already!

Now, I am the instigator of our separation so I guess I can’t be too upset.  He would have happily plodded along for a few more years in our unhappy and loveless relationship.  I want more. 

Our relationship was convenient for him.  In fact, it still is. I do most of the washing and the house admin.  I look after our son and work full time.  I rush home from work to collect him from nursery or to relieve my Mum who kindly looks after him two days a week.  I pay the house bills. I post his letters, collect his parcels, take the cat to the vet. We have always split all bills and the mortgage 50/50 despite the large difference between our respective salaries. I am basically his PA and housekeeper and I do it for free.


Saturday night

On Saturday night he went out.  This is fine.  It gave me a nice evening feeding and bathing my son, breastfeeding him and then giving him loads of cuddles before bed.  It also gave me a chance to sit down with a nice glass of wine and work on my blog.

My ex-partner went out looking very dapper.  He even had a shower before he went out – this doesn’t sound strange, but ordinarily he’d just have his normal shower in the morning and wouldn’t bother showering again before his evening escapades.

He arrived home just before three in the morning.  I am a light sleeper and I always have an ear out for a crying baby.   He then got up at half past five to be sick in the toilet. Nice! 

I don’t know whether he has met anyone yet, but he is certainly tripping the light fantastic and on the prowl. 

How do I feel about this?

Okay actually.  I did look at him before he went out and wondered when the last time he actually bothered to dress up to go out with me was    probably our first date six years ago.   I do not envy him the 3am return home, the 5.30am head down a toilet incident, or the day with a hangover and a baby.  I wasn’t overly pleased to have been woken up twice by someone other than the baby, but I’ll get over it. 

I hope that he finds someone quickly.  I really do, because it will make him happier.  I am not sure that he is that bothered about finding someone perfect. I think he just wants the convenience of a wife.

As for me, well, I am not going to rush into anything.  My son is, and always will be, my top priority in life now.   We are going to enjoy settling into our new home, when we finally move into it, and we are going to concentrate on us for a while.  We are the most important people in the world. 

When my son is in bed or with his Daddy, I am going to concentrate on me.  I can’t wait. 

Watch out for lots of new blog posts!

Mums the Word


    • thesingleswan
      May 12, 2015 / 10:10 pm

      Thank you!

  1. May 13, 2015 / 9:00 pm

    It certainly sounds like a less than ideal situation but it won’t be long before you and your son are in your new place. Then you can enjoy a fresh start together – there are exciting times ahead. 🙂

    Best of luck with the move. 🙂

    Thanks for joining our #HappyDaysLinky
    Jenna recently posted…Would you rather? (Video)My Profile

    • thesingleswan
      May 13, 2015 / 9:53 pm

      Thank you Jenna,

      That is really lovely of you to say.


  2. May 14, 2015 / 5:27 am

    Good luck lovely! I am sure you will do just fine and you will find someone else that will be better for you.
    thank you so much for sharing your post with the #pinitparty
    Otilia recently posted…Living Arrows #19My Profile

    • thesingleswan
      May 14, 2015 / 9:34 pm

      Hi Otilla,

      Thank you for reading and thank you for your comment. It is much appreciated. xx

  3. May 14, 2015 / 9:53 pm

    Not an ideal situation but sounds like you are coping well. Hopefully the future will be bright for you and you can move on too, Thank you for joining in with #HappyDaysLinky x

    • thesingleswan
      May 15, 2015 / 7:11 pm

      Thanks Katy,

      That’s very nice of you. All the best


  4. June 1, 2015 / 9:03 pm

    A pretty tough situation indeed. I bet you can’t wait to get in your new house. When I got my own place after my divorce it marked such a big change for me. I was independent and nobody’s PA! I think you’re awesome and doing so well 🙂 🙂 xx
    Teacuptoria recently posted…A Walking Weekend in WroxeterMy Profile

    • thesingleswan
      June 2, 2015 / 10:24 pm


      Thanks for popping by. I am literally counting down the days until I get my flat. I cannot wait. It will be a new beginning. There will be challenges obviously, but it will be good.

      Thank you for your continued support. xx

  5. June 7, 2015 / 8:16 am

    I hope everything works out for you as this is not an ideal situation still living with the ex. Keep being positive and it sounds like you definitely made the right decision. It’s better for you both to be happy separately than miserable together. It’s very exciting times now, making that fresh start. Who knows what fabulousness is just around the corner for you. x
    Rebecca (Life Through Reb’s Lens) recently posted…6 Tips for Selling Your House #TheListMy Profile

    • thesingleswan
      June 7, 2015 / 9:01 pm

      Hi Rebecca,

      Thank you for your comment. Yes, I have made the right decision and am literally counting down the days until I move house. I will be reading your six tips for selling your house. Luckily ours has just sold. Thanks again.

    • thesingleswan
      June 11, 2015 / 9:38 pm

      Thank you!

    • thesingleswan
      October 16, 2015 / 8:50 pm

      Ah, that is such a nice comment. Thank you so much xx

  6. December 30, 2015 / 10:46 pm

    ah you write so well about this stuff!
    i see this was back in may so i hope things have improved a lot since then!

    • thesingleswan
      January 4, 2016 / 10:15 pm

      Things have improved. We are no longer living together – yipppeeeeee

  7. January 6, 2016 / 10:41 pm

    What a crap situation to be in, and focusing on yourself must be difficult whilst he’s still in the background. I sometimes wish my ex would find someone to knock some sense into him but as he seems to be about as good as yours with day-to-day living life ability I’m not holding out much hope! Here’s to a new year, new house and space to look after you xx

    • thesingleswan
      January 7, 2016 / 9:13 pm


      thanks Katie. Happy new year to you. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it.

      Pen x

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