The Single Swan

The Journey of a Single Mother

Newbie Blogger: April 2015 round-up

I have officially been a blogger for about a month. I have read a lot, written quite a lot, learned a lot and have been inspired a lot during my first month as a newbie blogger. My blog is my journey as a newly single Mum, but there is a lot else in here as well. A monthly round-up of what I written, what I’ve read and been inspired by, and what is in the pipeline feels like a good idea. So, here goes: my first month as a newbie blogger.

What I’ve written
(in reverse chronological order)

The Truth About my Relationship with Margaret Thatcher

Inspired by a series of lectures at the Southbank Centre in London I found myself thinking a lot about Margaret Thatcher. I want to like her: she had conviction; she was a great leader; she changed the political landscape. She should be a feminist icon. But she also destroyed communities, she made things worse for women and she had no ability to empathise with society’s ‘losers’. However much I try, I just couldn’t make myself like her.

Baby goes to Daddy: Changing Britain

The second in ‘Baby goes to Daddy’ series. I went to a collection of lectures as part of the festival of Changing Britain at the Southbank Centre.

NO REGRETS

This was a deep and wine fuelled post in which I ponder life’s crossroads or key decision points. I am at a crossroads now. The path I take will determine the rest of my life and my son’s life. But, I need to take my own path rather than let my ex partner dictate that I always take his. I have no regrets.

My Parents are Superheroes

The title speaks for itself. My parents are awesome. In this post I tell you why.

The Truth About my Religion: what do you think?

This was probably the biggest argument that I had with my (non-religious) ex partner. He wanted our son christened a Catholic to get him a golden ticket to a good local Catholic school. I could not make a promise that I have no intention of keeping to a God I do not believe in. There were some interesting points made in the comments.

Through a Baby’s eyes: a very short blog about trees

I realised my son was spending a lot of time looking up at trees – so I photographed some.

My Desire to Breastfeed Eclipsed the Sun

My first six weeks of breastfeeding was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was my greatest challenge but I now consider it to be my greatest achievement. This is my breastfeeding story.

Baby goes to Daddy: Columbia Road flower market

Separating from my partner has meant that I have seen less of my son. I have really struggled. I decided to create a ‘Baby goes to Daddy’ series. In these blogs I tell you how I distract myself to take my mind off missing my son. I also try to do things that I just could not do with a baby.

Ending a Relationship Takes Courage

I separated from my partner. In his eyes and often in the eyes of those around us he is the victim and I am giving up and taking the easy way out. Ending a relationship and becoming a single mum could never be the easy way out. It takes immense courage.

What I want the future to look like

My first ever blog post! Struggling with the enormity of the challenges ahead I try to focus on the day-to-day whilst not losing sight of what I want the future for me and my son to look like. I focus on the reasons why his father and I need to maintain an amicable relationship…however hard it feels.

What I’ve read

Ok, I’ve read a lot, an awful lot, so I’ve decided to limit this section to three blogs or blog posts every month. These are my three for my first month:

Teacuptoria

Tor’s blog has given me hope. There have been some very low points in the last couple of months. I found Tor’s blog and she helped me realise that the future can be bright. She has a wonderful son, a happy relationship and a really positive and upbeat outlook. Her post The Ex Files  has helped me to work out what I want from my co-parenting relationship. She does some pretty cool doodles too!

The Secret Divorcee

Another key blog for me. Both The Secret Divorcee and Tor have some great advice for single mothers on their blogs. The Secret Divorcee has also written a great post on how single parents might want to vote in the forthcoming election. I have been sick and tired of all election coverage for some time now and I have to admit that this post has probably done more than any article, programme, leaflet, debate to inform my voting choices.

Big Trouble in Little Nappies

Unlike the above two blogs, this blog did not inspire me to create my own. I only discovered it the other night whilst checking out the BritMums Brilliance in Blogging shortlist 2015. Yvette’s post A Word on Loss  was so beautifully written. You can really feel her pain. I sobbed. I will never forget this post for as long as I live and for this reason I include it here.

What’s in the pipeline?

  • My thoughts on Feminism. I went to a lecture on Feminism at the Changing Britain festival and since then have been reading about 4th Wave Feminism. I am going to tell you about it.
  • How it feels to be back at work full time. Pretty rubbish to be honest, but I’ll try to look for some positives.
  • Some more about relationship breakdown and single motherhood. This is after all The Journey of a Single Mother and I am afraid, dear reader, that this blog is proving to be great therapy for me.

Thank you for reading and I look forward to seeing you again soon.

 

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com


Mummascribbles

 

12 Comments

  1. It’s great that you have started a blog as I think it can be great to have your own little space on the internet! #mummymonday

  2. Aww I wish I have learned so much from my first month as much as you! Welcome to the blogging world! #magicmoments

  3. nikkifrankhamilton

    May 5, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    I was a single mom for almost 5 years, the loss of a partner is so hard, whether you chose it or not. Congrats on being strong enough to do what needed to be done, there are so many that stay in relationships because it is easier. But that doesn’t always mean better, does it?? xoxoxo

    • thesingleswan

      May 5, 2015 at 9:11 pm

      Hi thanks for your comment. You are right the right path is rarely the easy one. There are some challenging times ahead, but hey, out of your greatest challenges come your greatest achievements right?
      Thanks for reading my blog and I hope to see you again soon. xx

  4. I love the idea of a monthly summing up post! #TwinklyTuesday
    Debbie
    http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

    • thesingleswan

      May 6, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      Thanks for your comment and for coming back to my blog. It was actually a blog on your K for Killer blogs post that gave me the idea, so thank you. I hope all is going well with you.

      Much love

      xx

  5. Congratulations on your blog’s first month!! I’m certain you won’t regret starting it. I began mine for cathartic reasons — I was nervous about my pregnancy and needed an outlet — and nearly 2 and a half years later I’m still writing! The blogging community is so generous and welcoming. I’ve made some great friends though my blog. Thanks for linking up to #TwinklyTuesday x

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
    Caro | The Twinkles Mama recently posted…112 weeks and 2 days | Would I Rather..? | A vlogMy Profile

    • thesingleswan

      May 10, 2015 at 7:47 pm

      Hi Caro,

      Thanks very much for your comment. Yes, blogging is a great outlet and the blogging community is very welcoming and generous. It really is a community and there is so much warmth in every comment I have received. Thanks again. xx

  6. Thank you so much for the kind words about my post, and for sharing.

    You have done so much with your first month in blogging! You must have found your ‘thing’. Good luck with things over the coming months, I think what you said above about greatest challenges becoming greatest achievements is very wise and true.
    Yvette @ Big Trouble in Little Nappies recently posted…All of This…is MotherhoodMy Profile

    • thesingleswan

      May 14, 2015 at 9:31 pm

      Thanks Yvette, I have to say I read that blog post and it really stuck with me. I hope everything goes well for you. I shall be reading your blog to find out! xx

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